Updated: Feb 25, 2021
Believe me, I have asked that very question myself many times over the last few months while working on this project. Needless to say, it's not an easy or a singular question. To say this is a "hobby" would be one of the biggest understatement I have ever made. This is more about a passion and a calling of Providence than anything else. I know the journey ahead on this mission is going to be a bit rough. I don't expect to "blow up" and go viral by any means, but that is really not the point. The object for me is quite simple, to steal (or borrow) a saying from one of my favorite ministries, The Whosoevers, our mission is the great commission. It really doesn't matter to me if tens, hundreds, or thousands listen to the station or read my blogs, if this little radio station gives just one person a little hope, a little faith, or a little joy even for a little bit, then it's worth it.
A brief History
I might as well give a little background on myself even though if you start listening to the station, I am sure I will go over certain details of my past almost to the point of nausea for the listeners. There are a lot of "life lessons" that I probably shouldn't have learned but it definitely gives me a unique perspective of the whole Sinner and Saints point of view.
Growing up in a house with both of my parents being ordained ministers, the bar was set quite high on being a good Christian kid. While I never excelled at being that good Christian kid, I did exceed all expectations of being the stereotypical small town preacher's kid. You know the kind... like the old adage says, there are two people you stay clear of, the Chief of Police's kid and the preacher's kid.( I didn't like the CoP's kid much either) While my brothers and sisters (at least most of them) stayed on the road, I decided to cut my own path and yes, for a relatively smart man, that was a stupid decision on my part. I ended up pretty much doing what I wanted, broke quite a few of the commandments on a daily basis, and ended up in a very dark place. The drinks, the drugs and the women were my unholy trinity and things could have very easily ended up worse than they did. Looking back at it now I honestly believe that the only thing that brought me through those dark years, was the foundation of faith that my parents laid down to all of us kids. It gave me a roadmap to get back to what is truly the only peace that I have known and that is when I am hanging with the Creator. I am proud (I know, "sinner") to say what I would imagine were thousands of prayers that my mom said for me didn't go to waste.
Thee "Mom" factor
A little side note on "the mom". She was an incredible woman. A certified genius, a master wordsmith, a godly prophetic warrior of Christ and a person that would not pull any punches. She told it like it was and if you had a differing opinion, you had better come with facts because she would and you would walk away feeling quite embarrassed. She impressed on me many of her traits that it was inevitable that it would shape the way I look at all facets of life. She was a great influence on me in so many ways that I simply can't thank her enough. Over the next few months, you will get to know her even better because it is rare once I start talking if I don't throw in a "mom-ism" nugget of wisdom.
Almost back to the present
I think I am going to jump over a few years and not get into the details of my derailment that were a better part of my younger years (and older ones unfortunately) and get back to the crux of the "why". Don't worry, for all of you dirt diggers out there, a lot of these stories will come out undoubtedly on the air.
Anyway, back to the whole radio thing. After my wife / ex-wife / current wife (same person) got back together, we decided to get back to church because we knew it was going to be good for our kids. One Sunday after church, our oldest son Jordan asked me, "Dad, what is Christian music?" Talk about a getting tagged in face by God! I realized at that moment what a failure I was as a father that after growing up in a Christian home, my own son didn't know what Christian music was. That was it. That was the moment that I decided that the music I was going to listen to and that I would impress on my kids would only have a positive message. Now, as most kids do, they have developed their own taste in music ( some of it I call "suck-music") but we do share a lot of favorite bands so there is still hope. HA! After deciding on the Christian music thing, I was actually quite surprised how many really good Christian bands that were out there. My ignorance to the subject had be believing that if I wanted to listen to a heavier style of Christian music, it would limited to the Yellow & Black Attack and Petra (old-timers get this). I could not have been more wrong. The bevy of talent in the Christian music realm was staggering. What I fell in love with was not only the different music genres (Rap-Core is still the greatest) but the depth of the lyrics. I have always believed and said that music is the most powerful medium there is. What other medium can transport you back in time to a feeling, a place, a smell that music can? It has so much influence that I did not want my kids subject to the "garbage in - garbage out" conundrum.
Well, as grace would have it, the wife of the Pastor at Abundant Life Church was a counselor and an author. She asked if I would help her with the marketing of her book. This truly was a God thing since I really knew little to nothing of the marketing business. We decided to check out a Christian radio station to run some ads on it. After talking with the Station Manager, she talked us into doing a 1/2 hour weekly show to promote the book. After that gig ended, the SM asked if I wanted to continue with the radio thing and have my own show focusing on music with a harder edge. That was the start of the Modern Apostles Underground radio show. Being that I didn't have a lot of experience in radio, I decided to turn to a pro jock who also attended Abundant Life to help out. Jason came on board and turned the show into something special. His expertise in the business not to mention his made for radio smooth voice made the show pretty successful. He also was the main reason that we stayed on the air as long as we did because he was able to pull me back from the edge when I would go on a tangent. Doing the MAU show is where I really found that if I was going to have a ministry in some way it was going to be in radio. No other vocation that I have been a part of, has brought out the passion like radio did. Unfortunately I my ego and selfishness got in the way to a point where not even Jason could pull us back. After the show ended, instead of following the path that I believe God had me on, I simply walked away from it.
Over the past few years, I have struggled with not doing what I honestly believe God had planned for me. Not enough time, not enough money, no one will listen, were constant mantras that were playing in my head. (the enemy is a liar!) So I've been working a 9-5 for the last few years and mentioning to quite a few people that when I get to heaven, I'm going to have a bit of explaining to do. I felt that my time working a "real" job was a waste of time and I was not listening to my calling. This was simply the doubt that was initiated by the enemy (the enemy is a liar!) to make me complacent in not using what little talent God gave me to pursue this venture. As I look at my current daytime position, and even though I feel like I've wasted the better part of almost 20 years, God still has a plan. He put people in my life through that position that have aided in this endeavor and have given me the push and inspiration to take this further. Which probably explains the fact that Isaiah 6:8 has been placed so heavily on my heart over the last few months. SEND ME!
That now brings us to where I am today and I finally decided to take the plunge and start up my own station. I was flirting with the idea of doing another show, podcast, YouTube channel or something similar, but decided to go full force and jump in with both feet. The reason for this are many, but to just name a few it has a lot to do with the current state of affairs with not only our country but worldwide. I do not want to be in a position where I have to be worried about being cancelled, censored, or face backlash from mgmt. for speaking the truth. We are simply here to spread the word of God, albeit in our own way and with our own style, and we will do it unapologetically and unashamed. There will be many that won't agree with our "take" on things but quite frankly, as long as we remain true to the Word, I don't care. Yeah, I know, not a great attitude for starting a business, but we will never compromise or waver in our commitment to the one true King!
Thank you if you managed to get through all of this and I pray that we will meet up again on the air.
God Bless and don't be afraid to be hated. (Mark 13:13)